Really, Rod? A Blog? Why do this to yourself?

Posted: October 29, 2010 in This is confusing me
Tags: , ,
 Glad you asked. It’s a simple answer, really. Because, I can. That’s why. Because as a virile manly man in his prime I feel it necessary to educate the masses with my knowledge of many things accumulated over a lifetime of cynicism, half-assed attempts at success and free flowing booze. Because, I’ve got all this shiz running around in my head all day and people look at me funny when I laugh for no apparent reason.

Because I know stuff. When I graduated from college, a long time ago in a state far far away named Vermont, some guy, who probably got paid a good chunk of change to give me a long ass speech that I pretty much didn’t listen to, said that I would probably have five separate careers over the course of my lifetime. Seriously, that’s what I took away from a two hour rant. That and something about being a lighthouse, I really can’t remember. I was buzzed. Sue me.

Turns out old guy was pretty close to the mark on the career thing.  As it stands I’ve had more than five ‘careers’ to date and will probably transition to another fairly quickly. I guess that makes me an overachiever. Take that shiz, 10th grade English teacher who told me I was wasting my talents on sticky weed and loose women, and sensibly priced Japanese cars. Ok, so you didn’t use those words exactly, but I caught your drift.
 I’ve been a Convenience Store Worker, Janitor, Teacher, Construction Worker, Beer Salesman, Teacher, Soldier, Teacher and Logistics Manager. I’ve pretty much been every character in the Village People, without the gay. And I’m not even counting the time I sold loose joints on the street with Ray Lamontagne (true story) during what I call my ‘dark’ period.

Not to mention the fact that I’ve been the good son, bad son, hip bachelor, boyfriend, fiancee, husband, raving drunk, divorced guy, high functioning alcoholic, boyfriend, husband, step-dad, and surly middle-aged dude.

The bottom line is that I’ve got issues and a lot to say about them. And my insurance doesn’t cover therapy or anti-depressants.

So yeah, that’s why a blog. Face it, bitches. I know stuff.  Just ask me.


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