Vacation Recap and other stuff

Posted: November 23, 2010 in life stories, not the good kind

So, I’m back from my yearly trip to the woods. Which isn’t such a big deal, since technically I live in the woods.  Seriously, the house next to mine is owned by a guy who travels 6 hours twice a year to spend a couple of weeks in a place I live year round.  My vacation was just to a different section of the woods, and all in all it sucked.

It showed promise early on and then pretty much shot its load around day four and just hung around like an uninvited guest.  I did learn a few things about myself though, so there’s that.

For instance:

1. I’m not a Beard guy- I made it 11 days without shaving my face.  That’s the longest I’ve gone without shaving since I was twenty-three.  Back then I had grown a scraggly thing of a beard that made me look like a crazed, taller than average leprechaun. So, I was initially hopeful when this time around day 7 the itching subsided and it actually looked like a normal beard. The only problem was that the fucking thing was half  white. I’m talking Old Man White.  Ya know I’m still getting used to being 40(ish) and this thing was making me look at least ten years older.  Completely Unacceptable.

2. Jack Daniels and I will never be friends. Jack, what’s the deal? I’ve tried and tried throughout the years to foster a relationship of mutual understanding with you, and you let me down every time. You’re selfish, Jack. That’s all there is to it. I don’t think we should hang out anymore. It’s not me.  It’s you.

3.  Everytime I go on vacation I get sick. What the fuck is up with this? It never fails. Going on vacation is a guarantee that I will come down with my one and only cold/flu/plague-like illness of the year.  I learned a new thing last night, though. NyQuil is the shiz.  I drank half a bottle and twenty minutes later I felt like I was listening to Drums/Space at a Dead Show in back in ’88. That shiz is for real. The only down side I saw were the weird dreams….I woke up trying to choke the life out of my pillow, enuff said about that.

So there’s the skinny on my crappy vacay. Now I get to drive 8 hours and spend 4 days with my family in Maine. Someone please tell me the point in all that. I don’t even like turkey all that much. 

I need some more NyQuil. 

Hope you all have a great Holiday.

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Comments
  1. bschooled says:

    Jack Daniels is nobody’s friend. Sure, he’ll act all nice to you at first, but then he turns into this creep that f*cks with your mind and causes you to wake up naked, next to a sixty-four year old Saskatchewan dairy farmer who asks if he can milk you again…

    (Or, so I heard…)

    ps. You’re going away again? I thought we had a deal…

    • Rod says:

      Well B, this time there will be electricity where I’m going. So it’ll seem like I never left…

      “…milk you again” That’s just hilarious right there.

  2. Vodka and Ground Beef says:

    I love Nyquil. It’s a staple in this house. Nyquil vodka? Yes. But on the rocks.

  3. nursemyra says:

    photos of you with and without the beard would be ideal. We gals need to make up our own minds which is better…..

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