Keep the questions rolling in. Don’t be bashful about putting them on the other page though, unless you think the email route is the way to go. Then do that. I promise I won’t publish your email address or give your real name. Here’s the latest gem.

Q. Ken asks, ” Rod, I hate math. What’s the answer to: T = d + D = sqrt [ x^{ 2} + 5^{ 2} ] + sqrt [ (20-x)^{ 2} + 10^{ 2} ] ?”

A. Ken, I’m no mathamagician. In fact, that doesn’t even vaguely resemble anything I ever did in a math class. Like any sane person would, I googled it, and apparently it’s something called calculus and it relates to minimum distance. Ken, are you a nerd? If so, I recommend that you get one of your nerdling friends to help you with this. If you are not a nerd, find one fast. It’s your only hope.

However, I’m not one to leave you hanging. Here’s what I know about minimum distance.

If X is equal to a bottle of Dr. McGillicuddy’s Mentholmint Schnapps that you purchase at a liquor store in Montpelier, Vt., and Y = Greyhound Bus travelling East at snail’s pace toward my parents house in Maine , then Z is = to the amount of time it will take you to drink X and be kicked off the Bus (Y) somewhere near St. Johnsbury, Vt. for trying to get a hippie girl to give you a hummer in the bathroom. Hope that helps.

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Who will Denny have sex with next and when?

Oh shit, too late. Sorry. (The answer was Denny DelVecchio.)

Okay, will Denny get married again and to whom?

Senor DelVecchio, Let me think about this one for a bit. My off-the-cuff response doesn’t do it justice.

Ew!

Who drinks Mentholmint Schnapps, anyway?

College kids and drunks with minty fresh breath.

Wow, Rod, you are a bona fide Sir Isaac Newton. I especially love how there is no X, Y or Z in the original question. Very fancy new math, I presume. Well done!

Thanks girlie. I think. I’m not sure who that Newton guy is but since you added a Sir in front I’m going to assume he was very cool and therefore take it as a compliment. Wait, wasn’t he in the Beatles or something?

Mathematics makes my head hurt

Nursemyra, you think math hurts? Drink a bottle of that swill and tell me how you feel in the morning.

I couldn’t wait for the answer.

Does that mean you ‘married’ yourself in a small intimate ceremony?

I’ll ask a stumper…

When will Rod post again?