Somebody pass the Prozac…

Posted: January 5, 2011 in Uncategorized

So yeah, it’s a new year. Whatever.  If you ask me, the holidays are overrated. Christmas? What the hell was that all about? The highlight of mine was fielding a drunken phone call from my sister complaining that her two shit for brains kids don’t appreciate anything and blaming me for moving away and leaving her to deal with my mother.  If that doesn’t scream Seasons Greetings, I don’t know what does.  She’s still pissed I bought her son a drum set when he was nine. It’s been 6 yrs, jesus, let it go already. And I’m still waiting for thank yous from the two shit for brains kids. Well, not really. I know they aren’t coming, because the two cretins don’t appreciate anything.

How was Rod’s New Years you ask? If you consider drinking a six-pack in front of the tube while telling two confused dogs what’s wrong with people today a good time, then it was awesome.  By the way, somebody please do Dick Clark a favor and put the poor bastard out of his misery. I mean, really what is he, 175 yrs old? Somebody put a pillow over his head and get it over with already. Christ.

So, Ol’ Rod is feeling a bit out of sorts. I’m not sure what’s going on but I’m not feeling like myself. Maybe the near death experience with last month’s illness messed with my brain. I don’t know. Maybe it’s man-o-pause.  Whatever it is, I’d like it to be done now, please.

I start a new job in a couple weeks. That should be fun. My current job is moving to an Army post in New Jersey and well, Rod ain’t moving to fucking New Jersey so that’s that.  No offense to Senor DelVecchio, but  NJ just isn’t my cup of tea. I also received a very weird phone call from a General I used to work for. I say weird because:

1. I’d like to know how the hell he got my cell number. He wouldn’t tell me.

2. He was all like, So…you done hiding in the woods and playing civilian yet? And I was all like…Uhh what the hell’s that supposed to mean, Sir.  And he was like…you’re still commissioned you know… and I was all, yes Sir I know that.
And he was all… I could really use you over here ( Fudgepackaboyistan) And I was all… uhhh no thanks, Sir… and he was all… I could just have orders cut for you, you know… and I said, I know.

Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing, going back to active duty. Anyway, now I half expect a certified letter to show up at my house any day now.

So I suppose that’s it for now. Good times.

  1. nursemyra says:

    Is it just Prozac you want? I’be got valium, lithium, risperidol, panadeine forte, digesics, endone…..

    • Rod says:

      I’m not sure what most of those are. They sound delicious though, kind of like the menu at a hip restaurant. Do they come with Mango Vinagrette?

  2. singlegirlie says:

    The holidays suck for everyone but children and people from Stepford. I bet soon you’ll be back to your old self again. When I’m feeling low I just try and remind myself that emotions are fleeting.

    I saw Dick too. It was like seeing a wounded animal, trying to hold on for dear life. But, hey, props to him for having the nuts to get out there like that. Or is it not the nuts but the arrogance?

  3. I hate Christmas… I’m hoping to find a rich Jewish man who will give me money and convert me this year.

  4. bschooled says:

    Come to Nicaragua! We can drink six-packs (only $2!) and watch reruns of Matlock and Touched By an Angel and lecture all the confused stray dogs (who will be even more confused seeing as they don’t speak English).

    We can even start our own business selling random junk and warm bottles of coke.

    Just promise me you’ll think about it.

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